Seattle Joe: a detective noir tale

Seattle Joe sat in his office in downtown Seattle. He was a detective. A dame walked into his office.

“It’s an honor to meet a distinguished British person,” he said.

“I’m not that kind of dame,” she said. “This is a detective story.”

The dame had a point. He could see she was going to be trouble.

She said, “I have a job for you, Mr. Seattle.”

“I already have a job. I’m a detective.”

“I know, which is why I have a case for you.”

Joe didn’t like cases, but he knew they were expected of detectives, so he didn’t hesitate. “What seems to be the problem?” he asked.

“It’s my husband,” said the dame. “He’s been stolen.”

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The Castle

Once upon a time there was a castle. The castle was happy and had a king and a queen and a princess and the people who served them and got ruled by them. It had lands round about, where it kept its peasants. It even kept some outlaws in its forest.

One day the people decided to move to the big city instead of living in a castle. The castle was upset that its people were abandoning it. It hatched a plan.

The night before everyone left, the castle snuck out of the land and found the big city. It stopped right outside the city and got some roller coasters so everyone would think it was a medieval-themed theme park.

Everyone in the city came out and had fun at the theme park. When the people from the castle arrived at the city, they decided to visit the new theme park. As soon as all the people from the castle were in the theme park, it said “Ha ha” and quickly ran home with all the people in it. They realized how cruel they had been to leave the castle and felt sorry for it. Also, now the castle totally had roller coasters now so they all agreed that if happily ever after was going to be lived, this was definitely the place to do it.