Today I invented a new recipe. I call it Pizza Jolokia. Here are the ingredients:

• 1 pizza
• 1 naga jolokia (a.k.a. ghost) pepper

Directions:

1. Cook the pizza. If you are a snazzy chef who knows how to cook things that don’t come in a box (the kind of chef who probably looks down on recipes with only two ingredients), you can do this part from scratch. If you are a normal person you can use a frozen pizza or get it from a restaurant. Just don’t put too much junk on it. By “junk,” I mean “things that aren’t usually found on a normal pepperoni and sausage pizza.” I used a pizza margherita. It was frozen but it came from a posh hippy store so it was extra quality-like.
2. Chop up the pepper. Make the bits small enough so you can distribute them around the pizza. With ghost peppers, a little goes a long way, and many people would argue it goes quite a ways too far.
3. Put the bits on the pizza in a relatively even distribution.

Note that steps 1 and 2 can be done concurrently, since you can chop the pepper while the oven is doing its thing.