Guest Post: The Magic of Love

So here’s another guest post, this one a romance story┬áby my other sister, Heather.

Once upon a time there was a very handsome centaur who lived in the dark forest. The forest was dark even during the day because the evil wizard cast a spell on the forest to make it dark. This meant that none of the vegetation could survive so the dark forest was actually a dark patch of dirt.

The handsome centaur was single. All his less handsome friends were married already, so his parents constantly suggested girls he could ask out. The handsome centaur always had excuses why he didn’t want to date people. One was too old. Another was too young. Another was too goofy-looking.

One day the handsome centaur was walking through the dark forest when he met a beautiful centauress. Which is like a centaur except female. She was very pretty and not too old. The handsome centaur fell in love immediately. He started blabbering and waving his arms about. His mind had disconnected because she was so beautiful. The beautiful centauress was grossed out and left. The handsome centaur never saw her again and he died heartbroken and alone which only goes to show that romance novels are hard to write.

THE END

Guest post: Iowa Smith and the Mummies

This story of adventure is by my sister, Karen.

 

Iowa Smith looked at the chasm. It was very deep. He wished he hadn’t dropped his torch into it because the ancient Egyptian royal tomb was very dark. At least the mummies had glowing eyes.

“Wait,” he said to himself. “Mummies are dead and not generally luminescent.”

He realized that these mummies were cursed. “An evil wizard must have cursed them so their eyes glow. That must make it very difficult for them to see in the dark tomb.”

He asked the mummies very politely if they would light the way to the exit so he could find a good wizard to undo the glowing eyes spell. They agreed, and Iowa Smith soon found a good wizard and made the mummies’ eyes stop glowing. Then he went home.

One day, there was a knock at the door. Iowa Smith opened the door and found a mummy.

“We can’t see the tomb now because it is too dark,” it said.

“Well then,” said Iowa Smith, “I will help you find a way to see your tomb.”

Iowa Smith booked a flight to Egypt and arrived at the ancient tomb. He scrutinized the structure and tried to think of ways to make it lighter.

“You could remove some of the stone blocks from the roof to let sunlight in,” He said.

The mummies looked aghast. “This is an ancient Egyptian historical building! You can’t just take it apart!”

Suddenly, the evil wizard appeared. “You removed my evil spell!” he cried. “The mummies’ eyes aren’t glowing anymore! You will pay for this!”

“Gosh, are you really that upset?” asked Iowa Smith. “Perhaps you could put the spell back. But this time, maybe you could cast it on something besides their eyes. Their noses, for example. Then everyone would make Rudolph the red nosed reindeer jokes and make them feel bad. That would be very evil.”

“Hmmm, that is a good idea,” said the evil wizard. He cast his spell and made the mummies’ noses glow, then vanished in a puff of evil smoke.

The mummies could now see where they were going. They thanked Iowa Smith and paid for his airfare to go home. Everyone lived happily ever after. The end.